You can definitely say that the richest company in the history of business and wealth didn’t get there by giving it all away. But it probably doesn’t have to fear collective bargaining as much as it seems.
wired reports on “The Fallout From Apple’s Bizarre, Dogged Union-Busting Campaign”
As the Macalope has said before, this is all very annoying. The horny used to joke that Amazon was the anti-union tech company. Now he has to come up with other reasons to fool Amazon. Like the fire phone.
I mean, it’s not difficult. It’s just annoying.
You may ask, if Microsoft Store employees were unionized, would anyone notice? Probably not, but not because their stores are always empty. Or not only because they are always empty. Unlike Goofus Apple, Gallant Microsoft has entered into a labor neutrality agreement that allows its employees to unionize “freely and fairly.” Good for them. The Macalope sends a basket of fruit to the Winotaur.
Meanwhile, Apple, which has all the money in the world, is choosing to spend it on an expensive union-shattering law firm rather than potentially handing some of it over to its employees. You know the old saying: you have to spend money to keep your employees from making money!
The rides at both stores were orchestrated by Littler Mendelson, the nation’s largest anti-union law firm, recently known for its aggressive tactics against Starbucks baristas.
While we disagree on many things, the one thing we Americans can all agree on is that the biggest problem group in this country is… [checks notes]… baristas.
Please don’t give generously to rid this nation of the… [checks notes again]… barista threat?
On the plus side, Littler Mendelson is a great name to swear under your breath while shaking your fist in anger.
Try it at home. The Macalope thinks you agree.
Workers at the unionized Apple Store in Towson, Maryland said the experience was “traumatic for many of us.”
You might think, yes, sure, that’s what you say when you’re a collective bargaining organization. And most of what wired describes seems to be more of the tedious, performative variety taught at the Jerktastic School of Management Training; the haughty tones you would hear from anyone trying to stop you from leaving a timeshare pitch you accidentally bumped into, the fantastical stories told by a chain letter that somehow managed to gain consciousness.
“Well, I heard that a woman in Kenosha joined a union and the next day had an incurable butt problem. I don’t want that for you. No, sir, I won’t.”
However, some of it is downright personal, creepy, and doesn’t fit any organization that once employed Bob Mansfield.
… an employee was told his immigration aid could be withdrawn if the union wins.
Apple Store manager reads a script: “I’d love to let you enjoy the great taste of Lays chips, Miriam, but the union … tsk … the union can take away my ability to do that .”
Miriam: “But my partner works in the Lays factory. We get that for free.”
Apple Store manager realizes things aren’t right: “Ha-ha! Mirjam. [suddenly very serious] Miriam. Dark forces are at work here, Miriam.’
As wired notes that the relatively small size of Apple Stores means these unionization disputes put managers and employees at odds long after the vote is over. The Macalope would suggest to Apple management that that disagreement isn’t worth stopping employees from acquiring collective bargaining rights. And when you work for the richest employer in the world, you don’t expect too much to better shake the negotiating table.
Sure, anything Microsoft can do, Apple can do too.