Anybody who has organized a wedding will understand how simple it is to get caught up in the little things. Your to-do list will seem never-ending because there is always something to plan, from the table settings to the photographer.
However, most people will agree that you and your spouse should take center stage on your special day, and your family will likely be your first choice of guests.
Whether you choose a wedding without children or restrict the number of plus ones who can attend, wedding guestlists can occasionally be the source of contentious disagreements in the run-up to your nuptials.
One particular family member’s invitation to a big occasion has upset a father because it’s someone who brutally deceived him in the past.
He is so devastated by the news that he can’t contribute to the wedding and declares he won’t even be attending, leaving the bride in tears.
The dad, who wishes to remain anonymous, detailed his situation on Reddit by saying: “My brother is 48 years old, and I am 46 years old. When I was 20, my girlfriend at the time had an affair with my brother. I was depressed and p***d. He is no longer my brother, I told him.
“I informed my family that I would never again be in the same spot as he is after they refused to cut him off despite my request. I am the one issuing the ultimate [ultimatum], so if they want to invite both, they should just invite him.
“In the spring of next year, my daughter will wed. In our culture, the parents split the cost of the wedding 50/50. My daughter unexpectedly sat me down and informed me that she would be bringing my brother and his family (he married my cheating ex).
“She apparently formed a relationship behind my back over the course of the past four years while seeing them. She even wants her cousin to be a flower girl of some sort.
I was p****d. The father continued, horrified at the bond they had developed behind his back. I explained to her my limitations and that if my brother was invited, I would not be covering my portion of the wedding costs. She got upset and told me to let the past go. I told her that wasn’t her decision to make.
“We continued to argue, and she said I was making her wedding about me. I told her it would probably just be about her since I probably wouldn’t even go. She left in tears.
The father stated: “My ex-wife called me shouting and told me I’m huge AH [a*****e] and our daughter is upset. Despite my clear reasons for not wanting to attend the wedding, the rest of the family is pleading with me to reconsider.” My parents then called, and it was the same. I scolded them, and now I don’t answer their calls.
“My girlfriend (GF) urged me to change my mind and apologize. I’ll lose my bond with my daughter if I don’t pay and go. I have no idea. I believe that my limits should be honored. Am I to blame for that?
Many others expressed their opinions in the comments section of the man’s post, with one writing: “Your daughter has made the decision to distance herself from you because of someone who broke your trust. It doesn’t matter whether it happened 20 years ago; what counts is that it did, which implies that she did. He can pay half if she really wants him there.”
Another agreed and said: “Daughter is allowed to invite whoever she wants to her wedding, and the original poster (OP) is not required to both go and/or pay for it. My only worry is that his relationship with his daughter will be significantly impacted “.
Many Redditors questioned the dad’s willingness to risk his connection with his daughter in the long run by skipping the wedding. One individual responded by saying: “His daughter going around behind his back to have a relationship with his brother who betrayed him has already impacted his relationship with her.”
What do you think about this incident? Who do you think is right? How would you react if you were in this dad’s shoes? Please let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to spread the news so that we can hear from more people.